did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize