My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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