i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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