is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i think im in europe. pls send help
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
