roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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