What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can Purell be used as lube?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
