I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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