ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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