You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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