Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
