yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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