So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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