I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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