He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
