you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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