Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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