dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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