so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
