I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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