I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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