when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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