I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
