she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
