She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
handjob tips. give me some.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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