I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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