i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how drunk are you?
Several
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
