After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
