What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
