carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
