what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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