I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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