i permit you to call me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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