you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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