I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
