Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
