i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
