ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
