You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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