so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She even gives head with a lisp.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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