Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
