i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize