i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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