its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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