the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
