Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
