awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
They have beer where we have blood.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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