I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
