Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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