she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
