Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
