Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
