CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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