Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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