i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize