that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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