I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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