As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
