You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
