You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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