Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Boobs speak an international language.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
