"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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